Your tire tracks are fading into the night
And I am alone with not even the stars to guide me
Your light went out long ago and I am asleep
Eternal misery wraps me in a blanket of shame
I remember when I watched you walk away
The pictures you took were taped all over my wall
And though they are of your hands, shoes, and the back of your head
They capture you as you are: honest
You have never lied to me, and though I’ve hated your words
I admire that you are the one person I loved
Who has never had to boost yourself up
To make sure I wouldn’t leave you behind
And I’m sorry that I walked out at the worst timing
I was selfish, but I’m not like that anymore
I let you down and since that day,
I’ve felt like a monster in my own imagination
I walk the lines of blasphemy and I do it alone
You are the only thing that has made me feel whole
And I’m sorry that as a payback I made you hollow
I feel as though I took everything that ever made you happy
And shattered it into millions of pieces
Pieces that cannot be repaired or replenished
Because not only did I break them, but I lost some of them as well
I am horrendous and I would not blame you if you left
For I already have, so I don’t understand why you stay
You are a light in the dark, and because of my greed,
I dimmed you and made you luminescence dull
I bore into your memory and took you captive
Forcing you to come back to me anytime I want you to
I could have broken the ties anytime I wanted to, but I didn’t
I took away from you who you are
And though people sit and stare and mock your pain
You’ve never given up on me
Never backed out or said good bye at the times you could have
You saved me and in return I ruined you
I am heinous and ashamed in my own line of misery
If you walk away, I won’t blame you
I won’t hold a grudge against what I took away from you